Breathe in, hold, release. Sink deeper, stretch further. Breathe in, hold, release. With each moment, I drop deeper into my yoga pose, in front of the mirror. I drop deeper into where I am, looking around the room, using my senses. As my eyes rest directly in front of me, I look into the glass showing me my reflection. It almost looks like liquid for a moment, and I think, what if it was? What an odd thought. Even more, I think, and so if it was, what would I do? Would I go inside? Would I explore? "NO!" I hear clearly, the fear of what that would entail enters my mind. Why? If something presented itself to me that would dismantle reality as I know it, wouldn't I want to become aware of it and what it is?
In my exploration of life, I have come across some things that have shifted my reality, turned my world upside down, and deconstructed everything I once knew to be true. The reason for this is that I am a seeker of truth. This is rare--it is natural for humans to become swept up in their patterns, behaviors, and things of comfort. When a person is intrigued by the unknown and challenges their definition of truth, it changes things, and that can be scary and hard for a lot of people. The Seeker has always been within me, however, it was not until I reached a certain point in my life that I chose to dedicate my journey to the revealing of truth. My soul had to reach a certain point of dissatisfaction and suffering for me to relinquish the need for all I have been taught to be true, and deeper than that, the need to be right. It was not until I surrendered to actually not knowing that I began to learn truths that resonate so deeply with my soul that they changed the course of my life for the better. Of course, there are layers here, just like everything. More truth will always come forward, more skin will always be shed, and more expansion will always be had. I will never stop learning betters ways of living, so read on with an open mind.
What I have found is that being afraid of (or resisting) the truth is what caused my soul to suffer. For example, I've experienced and heard expressed thoughts like I'm afraid to go so deep because I might learn something that changes everything! Okay--so what if I do? Does this fear not entail that there is something I am unaware of that is greatly influencing my life? If this is the case, why would I not want to dive that deep? Unless, of course, I would like to give up parts of my autonomy to some unknown piece within the dark corners of my mind (I use the word dark not with a negative connotation but as a place that is not seen). In my research of and intentional experiences with psychedelics, it has been shown to me that those places I feared the most to go to are the most important places for me to explore. In the above anecdote I shared an experience I had recently while doing yoga (not while utilizing psychedelics). It triggered these thoughts to come forward: would I be open to changing my life in an instant if the opportunity of higher truth presented itself? After seriously contemplating this "going through the looking glass" scenario as a form of mental exercise, it feels like I would have no other choice but to walk right through the mirror and see what is on the other side. I realized that this is the same concept as looking behind the curtains of my mind while I'm tripping balls on mushrooms and terrified at what I might find in my psyche. The more people I speak to, the more I hear the same issues, and the more I recognize that the resistance to what is, the resistance of truth, is something that perpetuates fear, keeps people in boxes, and creates mental prisons that look real but are complete illusions, and make people feel physically trapped in their lives. The reason this topic is so important is that we have built our lives on a foundation that we take as truth (otherwise we would not live by it), and it influences our choices, ultimately creating our reality. Some people experience their reality at best as mundane, or mediocre, and at worst as painful, hard, sad, etc. As I have been exploring and embracing life, I have come to find that we can experience life however we want to--it simply takes personal truth. Finding your truth is a process and it requires the questioning of your beliefs, decisions, and world around you. It requires questioning everything that you have ever been taught--and I mean everything. It requires the vibration of love to be held, and not fear. It requires acceptance and nonjudgment. It requires the release of what others think. It requires the release of what you think. It requires attunement with mind, body, and spirit. It is extensive, deep, penetrative, and all-encompassing. Embarking upon the journey of truth is no small feat--and it is the most rewarding experience one can have.
Seeking and accepting the truth has been my greatest challenge and greatest gift. As I have gone through my processes, I have and continue to dismantle subconscious limiting/harmful/illusory beliefs, recognize and utilize my own power, take responsibility for my circumstances/reality, and as a result, create the life I have been dreaming of! We all have our experiences which shape us and teach us--for good and for bad. For me, I had to let go of those experiences to get in touch with my truth and find out who I am at my core; ultimately improving my present and future experiences and inspiring others in the process. The truth will bring you bliss, even if it brings you to your knees first. So my question to you is, are you afraid of diving deep? Why?
